Some days the bus is too loud

And you’re crushed under the weight of

talking

phone calls

babies screaming

kids shouting out of windows

(is it too loud, or too loud for you?)

and you’re tired

tired

tired

but you’re functioning, you’re good

organised with a shopping list and a friend to meet

but it aches in your bones

tired

tired

and so easy to focus on the music in your ears

just trance out and let go

but the bus fills up full to bursting

(too loud for anyone)

and the woman next to you is huffy

because you won’t talk

because your voice is lost

buried under a sea of voices

and you just want to scream

(you owe no one a conversation)

and you get off the bus

four stops early

tired

tired

and walk

until there’s green space and quiet

and a hole to sleep in

and the world leaves you alone

just once

(but you don’t.

you go through the routine

and then you go home

and you cry.)

So if anyone was wondering what happens when I don’t post on time? It’s frequently feeling like this or Migraine.

Sigh.

Jinx out.